Official rules of the Scottish cyclist: seat bag and frame pump

22. Where the Euro Cyclist eschews these items for resons of style, the Scottish Cyclist carries them for their practicality. The seatbag and frame pump are essential pieces of equipment. These are needed when the Scottish Cyclist punctures in the middle of a 200-mile training ride through the Highlands, hours from civilisation.

I have often heard that the most appropriate and stylish place to keep pump and spares are in the back pocket. These pockets tend to be stuffed full of flapjacks and tablet, not to mention the countless arm warmers, gilets and rain jackets that are inevitably called into action when the Scottish conditions change from balmy 15°C sunshine to howling gales and driving rain in a matter of moments.

Official rules- the full list

  • Pingback: The Official Rules of the Scottish Cyclist « The Drum-Up()

  • I used to carry a frame pump on the C'Dale, before it was relegated to the winter bike. I soon realised that no-one else had frame pumps (well, none of the serious cyclists that I secretly wanted to be like!) and so this was discarded in favour of the mini-pump-at-a-jaunty-angle out of the jersey pocket. Now, when I am dropped by these same riders, I know that they are only sniggering at my shocking riding abilities, not my frame pump!
    Whilst invaluable for solo rides, you very quickly become known as “the guy with the pump” on group rides and are often greeted with expressions of relief as you cycle past the faster, yet less well-prepared (& doubtless more stylish) riders who have punctured. Of course you may choose to stop & assist or simply cycle by with a knowing smirk.
    (Hmmm – next official rule – offering assistance?)

  • cowspassage

    A few years back I p-unctured by Glengoyne distillery. Was in the process of inflating the tyre with my Topeak mini pump when an old fella passed by on his Flying Scot and insisted I use his 'classic' frame pump. I think it had originally been made for inflating anti aircraft blimps during the Clydeside blitz. Anyway, his pump was pure sh-te.

  • CarlGumeson

    Yay! I'm a Scottish Cyclist! Seatbag, check. Frame pump, check.

  • owen_p

    that's surprising cows- would have thought the classic frame pump would have worked better?

  • owen_p

    Exactly right bmfw. why are frame pumps uncool? because they spoil the lines of your frame? but clean lines don't help you when you puncture in the middle of 10 laps of Mull do they?

    Offering assistance- interesting one. Is The Scottish Cyclist friendly and gregarious or a gruff loner? I'm inclined to lean towards the latter…

  • cowspassage

    Problem was, my 'modern' bicycle requires inflating in bar, whereas his antiquated old pump was only really compatible with PSI.

  • owen_p

    You'll have nipped in for an energy dram, I take it?

  • cowspassage

    An energy dram? Never did Tom Simpson any harm.

    “Put me back in my boak”, as a great Scottish champion once said.