Official rules of the Scottish Cyclist: pedals, coffee and music

These ‘official rules’ were a fun thing that I used to get me going when I started the blog. They were intended as a tongue-in-cheek antidote to the Euro Cyclist rules. At that time I was getting into road cycling, and was perplexed by the myriad traditions and quirks of style of the roadie. Ironically, less than 3 years on, I am a proponent of many of the Euro rules such as leg shaving, white saddle and bar tape, espresso coffees and matchy-matchy kit.

26. Road pedals (e.g Shimano SPD-SL) are preferred, however mountain bike SPDs are acceptable should the Scottish Cyclist need them for practical reasons- e.g. in order to wear commuting shoes for the daily ride from Lochgilphead to Glasgow, or should the rider want to switch easily from his/her road bike to mountain bike to get a quick ride home to Fort William along the West Highland Way.

27. While strong black coffee is fine, tea or white instant coffee is a much more Scottish drink. Better yet, the Scottish Cyclist shall drink Irn-Bru with a shot of his single malt whisky of choice.

28. Motivational music during training shall consist of whatever motivates the Scottish Cyclist! Suggested tracks include:

500 Miles – The Proclaimers

Caledonia – Rod Stewart

Why Does it Always Rain on Me? – Travis

Take The Long Way Round – Teenage Fanclub

Official rules of the Scottish Cyclist- full list

  • http://twitter.com/cowspassage Jim Speakman

    Irn Bru? Mix with single malt?!? Jings, crivvens, help ma boab.

  • http://twitter.com/cowspassage Jim Speakman

    Oh aye, and Caledonia isn’t by Rod Stewart. Are you as faux-ecossais as Rod himself?

  • Anonymous

    Yeah- maybe it should have been blended. Keep the single malt for post-ride recovery.

  • Anonymous

    oopsy. Actually yes- English father, Welsh mother!

    Still like the Rod version though, and the sentiment of the ad: “jack in yer job and go and get pished, it’ll be fine.”

  • Andy BoA

    Bell’s & Irn Bru: that was absolutley honkin’!